drewlyn

New House -- New Post!

2011-07-27T11:09:00.002-04:00

So, it's been awhile since I blogged. But better late than never.

I've lived in DC for almost one full year. I think I arrived around August 7th which is a little more than a week away. And as my time at the Quincy Home for Wayward Boys comes to an end with Lyndsey and Anders I am so thankful for the time I have gotten to spend in DC with the WTFs. It truly feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am so grateful for the past year. I can hardly believe it has been a full year since I left California. Most days it feels like it has only been a couple of months.

Ryan and I were able to find a place to rent on very short notice ! I think it will be a really great fit for us for the next year. It's a cute two-story townhouse, two bedroom/two full baths with a nice backyard for cookouts and even doggy-door access for Grace in Columbia Heights. I'll attach some pictures more pictures:

It's two blocks from the Columbia Heights metro station, two blocks from the new Target and shopping area, two blocks to a grocery store, one mile north from the 930 Club and some fun gay bars, and one block from the Wonderland Ballroom! It doesn't have huge square footage (e.g., the kitchen is very narrow) but it has in unit washer and dryer, access to a parking space in the back, and ample street parking out front. And the street (Sherman) is undergoing beautification to make it more accessible for walking and less traffic.

All in all, the housing search ended up not being too bad. Despite a very competitive market. One landlord told me that in less than 24-hours of having an ad up he had received over 80 inquiries. Ryan and I ended up emailing about 20 places, visiting about five-six, wanting to apply to two, actually applying to one, and landing that one within six hours! I am glad that now I have something to blog on our brother-sister blog at last!

Birthday Party Pictures!

2011-02-04T10:28:00.013-05:00

Anders birthday was a huge success. I didn't outsource anything and instead tried 4 new recipes, which are were great. I failed to take any pictures of what I made, but the food looked just like this montage below... YUMMY.

I made apple and blueberry french toast casseroles, spinach bacon quiche, broccoli cheese quiche, Betty crocker box mix cupcakes (high class) to name a few. The apple french toast was a huuuuge hit! Trust me, you should go make it right now!

To really get the party started I also decorated the house with balloons, streamers and confetti. Unfortunately for you, my loyal blog readers, I didn't take pictures of the decorations either. However I looked just like this:

Super glam. And perhaps a little like prom?

Anders had friends from near and far come to celebrate his big birthday! As always our friends are a rocking good time. Luckily I was able to snap one picture of our guests Clearly these ladies were really having a blast! What can I say? We throw awesome parties. So perhaps this wasn't actually taken at Anders birthday. But it could have been because we had this much fun. And it is possible that my outfit looked just like that lil' cutie on the left! Or maybe I just wished it had. You go girl!

Happy weekend everyone!

Birthday Party

2011-01-21T11:37:00.007-05:00

The past few weeks have been flying! I had a low-key birthday last week and am planning a BIG ol' birthday for Anders. Tomorrow my sweet husband turns 30! Personally, I thought turning 30 was the best. Seriously, our 30s are going to be totally AWEsome! Work, life, family etc. Its all going to really get moving and shaking this decade.

Unfortunately, my little squashblossom is at a very intense work retreat in Chicago until late tomorrow night. So no big suprise party or night out on the town. Instead we will be having an awesome boozy brunch celebration on Sunday. Yummo breakfast food, lots of friends and mimosa galore! It should be very fun!

I had dreams of baking quiches, muffins, casseroles, etc from scratch. However some other very big life changes (more details soon...and no mom - its not a baby) are taking priority this week. I could seriously spend all day on tastespotting.com obsessing about new dishes to try. I am sure I will make some of it - but I think my good friend Whole Foods will be taking on major elements too.

Anders and I often think back fondly to his 28th birthday. My birthday is just 11 days earlier then his- and that year he took me to one of DCs nicest resturants. Just a week and a half later I planned a verrrry romantic date. I took him to Taco Bell, gave him a giant dollar bill necklace to wear, and topped the night off with seeing Notorious (the inspirational film about the life and death of Biggy). We both had so much fun - it seemed clear that we were just meant for each other. The next day followed with this special email from me:

Who doesn't love a talking taco? Hoping we can make 30 even better!

War Eagle!

2011-01-10T16:44:00.015-05:00

I am just so excited about the BCS championship tonight ! Auburn has such a tender place in my heart! The summer I spent working at AU orientation program was just magical. I cant picture my life without those months at Auburn and the amazing people I met there. I believe in Auburn and LOVE IT!

Everyone should spend at just a little bit of life in Alabama.

Beautiful Auburn University

Momma G's - known for their nachos (made out of Doritos and pepperjack singles), a really terrifying bathroom, and some of my best nights at Auburn. Basically amazing.

Two very important items here: #1: Toomers Corner - a landmark at AU. #2: One of my best friends in the world Sus. She and I clicked instantly and lives were changed forever (specifically mine). She connected me to so many awesome friends at AU, rocked my summer/my whole world and taught me the fight song. Auburn would be nothing without her!

Happy 2011!

2010-12-29T10:53:00.009-05:00

Happy 2011 everyone! This week has whizzed by and I still have yet to sit down and make any resolutions. I love this poster from idea-obsura, so I am feeling inspired to make some changes this year! Generally my resolutions are an epic fail - but I still like taking a little time to think about how I can improve in small ways. Lets take a walk down memory lane and explore a few resolutions that didn't quite blossom as I had hoped:

New Years 2006 - Stop killing bugs.

I was living in South Carolina at the time, and you don't want to even get me started on palmetto bugs (aka really big roaches that are EVERYwhere). I was killing bugs at such a rate, I was starting to worry about karma. The new rule is no killing bugs outside. If you are in my space - its fair game. RIP any bugs I accidentally stepped on in the past 5 years. You're small and I didn't mean it!

New Years 2007- Stop taking the stairs, instead ride the escalator.

I take the stairs. It doesn't matter how long the escalator is, I walk. But one day in 2007, I just rode. It was so peaceful, so zen-like. All of my worries just faded away. This happened around New Years and I vowed I would never walk on the escalator again. Its seems very counter intuitive to make a resolution to stop exercising, but I did it. My fast paced, city commuting was stressing me out. So I wanted to take a minute to just relax, and collect my thoughts, and generally slow down. It lasted exactly two days. My back-side is thanking me.

New Years 2008 - Do a push up

I have never had Michelle Obama arms. I don't know the glory of a chin-up. And in 2008 I wasn't sure I could do a single push-up. Well, that's not exactly true, I could do a push-up, but I wanted to be able to do a full set of 30 really beautiful, perfect, fitness model push-ups. I never quite got there, but I stuck with it for quite a long time. I can do a good looking push up now (just a handful - I'm not superwoman!) and a full set of good looking lady push-ups. And really, who needs to do push-ups anyway?

New Years 2009 - Start eating red meat and pork

This also seems sort of anti-New Years, since my resolution may have directly contributing to clogging my arteries. Luckily for me, I couldn't really keep it up. Many of my friends know about my traumatic 7th grade field trip to the pork farm. Long story short, I became a faux-vegetarian. I could never really commit because I like wearing leather and have a soft spot for turkey sandwiches. After 17 years (yikes, I'm old!) of what ultimately was picky eating I said "Enough is enough! Eat that soup with bacon bits, have a hamburger already, pork chops are great!!!" Well I have done a few of those things over the past few years - but never with much gusto. While I am not nearly as picky anymore, suspicious meat and Lyndsey just don't get along. My husband cries at night because of it.

I will keep you posted about New Years 2011! I think it will involve reading more books and not jaywalking in the city so much! Anything I can do to help my chances of being smooshed by a bus!

Lately

2010-12-29T10:49:00.003-05:00

Lately, this is how I am feeling all the time. Filled to the brim with joy. Totally overwhelmed with love. It just was too easy to pick the perfect holiday card for us this year. One word, one picture, simply summing up 2010.

(We are still updating our mailing list - so please email me your address if you didn't receive one!)

Ode to the Fit!

2010-12-20T11:43:00.006-05:00

Anders brought many wonderful things to our marriage! Happiness exuding from every pore, kindness beyond belief, a crockpot, and an adorable little Honda Fit. When we first met, I honestly wasn't too sure about the car. It is tiny, bright red and a hatchback - three things that don't immediately sweep me over. However after one day of driving it I was sold. It had pep and attitude. Push-button windows and one of those "beep, beep" car remote unlockers. For someone who was still driving the Dirty Civic from 1999, crank windows and all - this was very high class.

My love affair with the Fit didn't end there! We pushed that little car to the limit - loading it with a yard full of mulch and sod, so heavy the wheel wells almost touched the tires. We were able to fit our dining room table and six chairs in the Fit. I think Anders and I have talked three friends into buying Fits! If it isn't already clear...I LOVE THIS CAR!!

So you can just imagine my horror, when yesterday I got the Fit in its first big accident! Big might be an exaggeration, but accident none the less! It did prove that the Fit loves me back, because it blew an airbag to protect my little dome. Luckily, it was a pretty minor bumper to bumper hit, so the airbag wasn't actually needed, but an airbag to the face can really shake a girl up. In the end, it could have been much worse. I was totally fine, as were all of the passengers in the other car. Minus the airbag, and a slightly off-kilter bumper you could hardly tell the Fit had any issues. The Jetta didn't do as well, but the owner was so nice about the whole thing. And best of all - my sweet husband came rushing to the scene was just awesome and so supportive the whole time. He didn't even make me feel bad about testing the airbag and the fact that our insurance will undoubtedly get hiked!

So my friends, safety first this holiday season while driving! Please don't zone out while thinking about cooking a turkey, like I did!

Hello holidays!

2010-12-13T14:58:00.014-05:00

We are just up to our eyeballs in holiday cheer! Add to that just a dash of over scheduling and you have the chaos that is the next two weeks! I love this time of year, but it always feels completly crazy! Things got into full swing this week where we went with a big group of friends to see A Christmas Carol at Ford's Theatre. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like 30 of your closest friends causing a ruckus in the balcony!

After a big night out on the town with friends, we followed it up with a Saturday fit for an old married couple. We went furniture shopping and after weeks of research finally bought a couch! And, man oh man....it is going to be sooooo nice. Big, soft and cushy! Everything you could dream of and more, if you've been like me and have been dreaming of couches.

On Sunday we went to the Army Band Christmas Extravaganza 2010 with some friends. It was at the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) Constitution Hall, which was just beautiful! It was hard to drag myself out of the house on a cold, rainy afternoon, but I am so glad we did. It was just awesome event! It will definitely be working its way into our annual holiday tradition rotation!

All of this holiday goodness is followed up with a JMU Alumni Holiday party tomorrow at Blackfinn. I am so excited to celebrate with many of my favorite JMUers, some of which I haven't seen in years! GO DUKES!
++=LOVE

But wait...there's more! Did I mention we are hosting TWO holiday parties next weekend?

And babysitting my 3 cousins all under the age of 7 (eeks! Any ideas for an afternoon of fun)?

And hosting my Women's Leadership Retreat at our house?

And going to a wedding shower in Richmond?

Add to that more Christmas shopping, goodwill purging, house cleaning, Christmas cookie baking, wrapping, traveling to Illinios, and fixing a small leak in the roof!! Yeah - its going to be a busy couple of weeks! I simply have to be thankful. My problem is too many good things, and not enough time. We are am overwhelmed with blessings this holiday season, and that is a very, very lucky place to be.

My mother-in-law...

2010-12-04T10:18:00.006-05:00

This sums my mother-in-law Nancy up just perfectly. Full of energy, enthusiasm, and fun. On thanksgiving day we went to the field across from our house. First she just wanted to play with Hux. Then she wanted to play frisbee and football. To round things out - she just wanted to see if she could still do a cartwheel. She did three. Anders almost had a panic attack. No bones were broken in the making of this film!

Holiday cards...

2010-11-30T13:32:00.006-05:00

Thanksgiving was a hit! It was so fun to have everyone together for a weekend filled with good food, games, movies, walks, wine and lots of family time.

I also was able to check the ol' holiday card off the list. This will be our first - and I am pretty excited about it! I found this awesome website http://www.minted.com/ and there were so many designs I just loved. You will just have to wait to see the final selection in your mailbox, but these were some of the ones we considered:

We also created a Top 10 of 2010 for the back of the card. I was inspired by this funny top 10: http://www.hellolucky.com/wordpress/?p=6081 . What would be on your list?

Thanksgiving

2010-11-23T10:49:00.002-05:00

I am really excited about Thanksgiving about this year. It is my absolute favorite holiday. The food, the family time, the chance to think about the things that you are thankful for. It is just perfect. We are hosting Thanksgiving at our house with both sets of parents, Drew and some family friends.

In fact, I am so excited about Thanksgiving I woke up at 6am to make not one, but two types of cranberry sauce. The first is sort of a cranberry “slaw” and the second is a cranberry-raspberry compote. I am not particularly good at following recipes. I tend to just throw things together until it tastes good to me. It’s a cooking style that serves me well, but can be sometimes a challenge to duplicate. However, these are so darn easy I thought I would share.

Cranberry Slaw
1 bag of fresh cranberries
1/3 cup of orange juice
1 orange – grate a bit of the peel zest
¼ to ½ cup of sugar (or more!) to taste

Throw it all in your food processor and chop. Just a few quick blends will get it to the right consistency. You want to be able to clearly see some fine white and red parts remaining. Be careful not to over chop it and turn it into a soggy pink mush! This is great for cranberry purests. This is my mother’s recipe, because she definitely falls into the cranberry purest category. Varieties have included an chopping apple slices in with the rest of the ingredients, or mixing in pomegranate seeds after the rest has been chopped. Yummo!

Cranberry-Raspberry Compote
1 bag of cranberries
1 cup of water
¾ of a cup of sugar
3 tablespoons of orange juice
1 container of raspberries

I just made this recipe up, but it was pretty tasty this morning when I was done. I am looking forward to trying it out on Thursday. Add the water and sugar together and bring to a boil. Add the cranberries – I blended about ¼ of them in the food processor, and left the rest whole – so it would be a chunkier sauce. Bring the mixture to a boil, and then reduce to a slow boil for 10 minutes or so. You want to make sure you regularly stir this mixture. It seemed like the sort of sauce that could burn easily. Once the cranberries have softened and some have burst, add the raspberries and keep on a low boil for another 5 minutes. After the raspberries have cooked a bit, take it off the burner and transfer to a storage container. I would let it cool completely before you serve it!

That’s it! I will be serving cranberry sauce three ways on the big day – both of these, plus a can of the jellied stuff. You just can’t knock the classics!

Hello again world...

2010-11-18T13:33:00.002-05:00

So much has happened since last I blogged. All of the things in life seriously swallowed me up, swirled me around and then suddenly I am on the other side! There are plenty of things that have happened over the past 6 months or so - but the BIG ones are:

1. We are MARRIED! While I didn't love wedding planning - it was worth every bit of stress, money, tears, frustration, excitement etc. It was a perfect weekend, perfect ceremony, and a real celebration! I am thrilled to spend the whole rest of my life with Anders! To put it quite simply - he is just amazing.

2. Drew is living in DC! In our house! Right down the hall! Perhaps my new found desire to blog will get Drew back on the wagon too? We shall see. It has just been so much fun. Anders summed it up best last night "Living with Drew is making memories we will have the rest of our lives." It really is so awesome to get the chance to live together again as adults. We should throw more parties! Get back to our teenage roommate roots!

3. Anders and I went on a FANTASTIC honeymoon. Its really the kind of honeymoon that makes people say "Whoooah!" We took almost three weeks and traveled half-way around the world to Thailand. It was such a romantic and fun adventure. We were so lucky to be able to take that much time and to be able to really enjoy our first few weeks of married life together.

So those are the highlights! One month in to wedded bliss, and it feels like we still have a lot of settling down and catching up to do. It will all happen soon enough!

Before I Got the GW Job I wrote this:

2010-07-01T11:55:00.001-04:00

I've entered that nervous point where I'm second guessing everything about my interview and potential job. I will retell the story so that I have it all in one document and maybe that will relieve some of my stress. I flew out Thursday for the job interview that happened on Friday. The interview was from 10am to 3pm which is by far the longest interview I have ever engaged in. There was no requirement for me to present anything and while that relieved some of the nerves, I felt like I couldn't really do great interview prep with such a long span of interviewing. I was staying with my sister and her fiance and it was really a great visit, so when she and I took the metro in that morning I was feeling okay. DC is hot and I was wearing a suit, but I got to the interview and felt okay about it. What I didn't feel good about was how I have been treated since I told my current employers about my participation in the interview process. My boss and supervisor in particular has been difficult to deal with and has pulled big guilt trips, been condescending and abrasive (while trying to pretend like she doesn't care) and then finally she set a pretty unrealistic ultimatum of giving her a decision seven days after my interview -- which is definitely a power play and totally unrealistic for me and my interviewers. But I decide I'm going to deal with that once I get there.

I had one hour with the Director, one hour with the Assistant Director, and 30-45 minutes with the remainder of the staff. Then I was to have lunch with the Director and finally meet with the newly appointed Dean of Students after lunch. So, in with the Director and things go smoothly. He is a bit of a talker and so we move from one tangent to another, but at the same time I feel like I am learning a lot about the position and the center. And while I don't think any of my answers were life-changing 10/10's, I did feel like I was hitting solid 8/10 for most of the questions. And it is becoming more and more appealing to me. Hearing about the (lack of) politics in the center sounded like a great relief. Hearing about how the staff turnover created new positions and that many of the staff were at similar places in terms of working toward licensure was a huge boost. And then the things that were expected for the candidate: 20-25 clients, minimal crisis work, running groups, lots of outreach support, and running the Peer Educator program where Psych student get course credit for doing outreach about mental health issues. Finally, he told me that I could be dually hired as faculty in the Psych Department and teach there (as he does) and that made it hard not to become more interested. The meetings with the Assistant Director and the rest of the staff who were in town on a Friday in the summer confirmed my good feelings.

So, I decided that lunch with the Director is probably the best time to bring up my situation. And I think that it may be reasonable -- on the phone interview they indicated they were interviewing the previous two weeks, so if I'm the last interview that might give them enough time to make a decision and let me know. It would be a tight squeeze, but possible. I decide to do some recon with the administrative assistant who booked my flight and I casually ask if lots of interviews have been happening and how that has been. And I find out that I am the FIRST interview. At this point, all hope is lost. If I am the first interview, there is no way they will be able to make any decision by the next week and then I will have to stick with the postdoc I have been offered. But I know that I need to at least try to talk with the Director about this reality at lunch. We sit down and before we even have ordered drinks I ask him to tell me about the interview process and their anticipated timeline. He has a big facial reaction and I think maybe I've made a misstep but he says that it is a good question and he tells me they are interviewing the next couple of weeks and will try to bring someone in by August. Well, he says "weekS" and I figure all hope is lost. If they are interviewing beyond the coming Friday, I have no chance. And even though my hope is dashed, I decide I have been upfront throughout this process, and I'm going to continue that strategy. And since I have nothing left to lose, I tell him about my situation, my current employer and the ultimatum. Again, I assume I have ruined my chances, but his first response is telling me that he is sorry I am in that position and then says that after the phone interview they had "strong feelings" about me. And that as a matter of fact, the last interview is scheduled for Friday and given the time difference, he thinks he could let me know before the end of the day. And my spirits lift. I really hope it works out. And I think it might.

Huxley's Second Birthday!

2010-04-21T23:37:00.003-04:00

Huxley turned two this past weekend. I just can't believe my little pup is growing up so fast! He had a special day of deluxe meals, lots of playing in the yard and two stuffed squeaky toys. Practically heaven!

Celebrate with us by watching this video from last year of Hux and his best friend Cooper the 5lb Chihuahua. Video courtesy of Auntie Sarah!

(VIDEO COMING SOON!)

Coop and Hux play tug of war from Sarah on Vimeo.

(Try to ignore my jeans on the floor/the sad basement I used to live in)

Bad blogger

2010-03-19T14:11:00.007-04:00

Bad, bad, bad, bad blogger.

I have been MIA and I am so sorry. I wont test your patience with posting about what I have been doing. I will simply summarize that things have been very good. Life has been fun, even wedding planning has been really fun! I know there will be plenty of stress still to come, but I am feeling great right now. I am just so excited to be marrying Anders. We literally look at each other everyday (generally multiple times a day) and talk about how happy/lucky/thankful/in love we are. There is really nothing better then that.

On top of it all - spring is finally here. I bought a pot of daffodils at Trader Joe's yesterday. I picked my pot specifically because all of the flowers were still tight little buds. I was confident that it would just keep growing this weekend and maybe I would see blooms at the beginning of next week. This morning my jaw dropped. One bloom was cracked half open when I came into my office. Its all the way open now and two of the others are getting close to being open too. I really think the plant has grown 2 inches since last night and another inch this morning. How amazing is that? Just thinking about all of that growth and new life brings a huge smile to my face. I simply adore the spring.

Daffodils always remind me of my family - particularly my mother. For years of my childhood she recruited us to plant what felt like hundreds of daffodil buds in our propriety. It was always sort of torturous as a teenager. However the spring was always filled with all of those hundreds of daffodils blooming up the driveway or in vases around the house. Daffodils are now my favorite sign of spring and always reminds me of home. I had intended to plant bulbs first thing when we moved into the new house. However things got very busy and I never had the chance. Though lucky for me - someone else did! There are shoots springing up all over our backyard. I am so excited to see what blooms. I'm sure there are daffodils in the mix, but also something much shorter. Perhaps a crocus? We will see! It has certainly been fun to see the seasons change during our first year together in the new house. The winter was intense and the spring is shaping up beautifully!

Tonight we are having a handful of close friends over for the first cookout of the season. I haven't been able to focus all day just thinking about grilling out and lighting the fire pit tonight! Sitting around a fire with a cool drink and good friends seems like a perfect start to the weekend.

I will leave you with a quick picture of me, Huxley and our house in the winter. I believe this was early into blizzard #1 in DC. I can tell because the snow isn't up to our waist already! Lucky for me the temperature outside right now is a beautiful 72 degrees!

Next Years PostDoc

2010-03-15T14:33:00.002-04:00

This is from the email I sent to my coworkers from Uniform Notification Day:

"So, my morning took some expected turns. Last night, I decided that I would only want to accept at Stanford or USF, and that if Kaiser or SJS offered me a position that I would turn them down and keep waiting for the other places I have applied. This was a very difficult decision for me, because I truly value being settled and secure, but I didn't want to regret taking the only offer I received, especially if a better fit came along. I also didn't want to be the only intern without any news to share when we get back to the office.

This morning 9am came and went and I didn't get a call. By about 9:05 I realized this probably meant I was not any of my sites first pick, which was a bit of a blow to the ego, but I think our conversations from before helped me recognized what close ties first through fifth might be. Around 9:10am Nancy Glenn from USF called to see if I had accepted a position and to let me know that I was their first alternate and that they were currently on hold. That was reassuring, but it's strange hoping that someone will turn down a position so you can get it.

I decided to text Mary to verify that the teaching track had been filled, that way if USF called me back, I could accept without hesitation. Mary called back and told me that the position had been filled and we chatted briefly, but I was becoming more and more accepting of the idea that I would not have a position by the end of the day. Which felt okay to me, but certainly disappointing. Around 9:35 Nancy called me back and told me that the position had been filled. She sounded genuinely apologetic and regretful, so that made me feel better. I called my parents and some friends to give them the update. I decided to go out on a run to clear my head before I came into the office.

And then, I got a call from a 650 number and I assumed it was Kaiser, so I prepared myself to turn them down, but in fact, it was Mary, calling to tell me that even though the teaching track had been filled, that they LGBT track was still open and they were far enough down on the list that she didn't feel like the remaining candidates were good fits for CAPS. So, she offered me the LGBT track. To make this email wrap up, I accepted. I am thrilled with the opportunity, a little taken aback, but really happy about how things worked out. I guess that quote from my email is true after all.

Again, I'm so proud of all of us,

Drew"

Woo hoo!

Jobs

2010-02-08T14:15:00.003-05:00

For the next month or so I will likely be quite anxious about my job situation for the coming year. I have five interviews and I feel good about those options, but there are still a lot of unknowns as to how the remaining interviews will go and which places (if any) will provide offers. Additionally complicating the process is the fact that half of the applications I sent out won't even be read until after this round of interviewing and offers is complete. I guess this is how looking for jobs works in the real world and it is very unpleasant.

I visited a friend from graduate school this weekend who moved for a great job to Merced, California. If you've never heard of Merced, it makes sense, because not much happens there. It's located midway between Modesto and Stockton in the Central Valley, which I think is telling if the points of reference are cities I've never heard anything about. It just made me very grateful about living in a city and having cultural options to explore. I'm sure there are great things about Merced, but at dinner on Saturday at Big Bubba's BBQ when we got our balloon animal hats before the staff did a line dance, I knew I could never live there full time.

Still, when I am riding the train to work in the morning I pass by an area of San Bruno where there is a Home Depot and in the parking lot I often see 20-25 men standing in various groups and configurations. I assume these men are waiting for people to pull up who need help with cheap manual labor. I think of how scary that life would be to wake up each day and hope that someone will pull up to your group and offer you money for physical work. There is no guarantee, there is no security, and who knows what they make in a given day. I am aware my problems are less dire than the men I see every morning and that makes me grateful.

The Engagement

2010-01-28T21:22:00.002-05:00

I am so excited about my role in this event and I wanted to share it with everyone! As if these two could get any cuter:

Best Birthday EVER!

2010-01-20T11:30:00.010-05:00

It is official. Thirty was by far the best birthday I have ever had! The celebrations continued this past weekend and it was amazing! It was one of those times where you feel so incredibly blessed and surrounded by love! I just flat out have the most amazing friends.

Like this guy! He flew in from Atlanta to surprise me. This is the second time in two years that he has flown into DC and surprised me. To sum it up...I felt AWESOME! Lucky for all of you they video taped it happening, so you can look forward to a video post of me screaming and bouncing up and down soon.

And how amazing are these folks. I never imagined it would turn into a big South Carolina reunion. DC, Chicago and New York in the house. Plus a few SC folks who had recently moved to VA - driving hours to come hang out for the weekend!

And clearly it just wouldn't be a celebration without some of my favorite JMU folks! And there were so many others that came out to meet us while we were out on the town - freshman roommates, friends from Auburn, people I met once I moved to DC. It really felt like most of the really important friends I have made in the past 30 years were represented (even if they couldn't all be there). Thank you so much Varsity Girls for making this weekend so incredibly special! For helping to coordinate surprise guests and inviting folks to crash at our house. It was perfect.

And a very special thanks to this guy. For letting all of my friends take over our home - for diving head first into the celebration after a very long week of work - and for just generally being you. You make my life so wonderful. Looking very forward to the next 30+ years with you!

Hello 2010!

2010-01-14T15:36:00.004-05:00

I keep waiting for a break in the action, but it just isn't coming. The past two months have been some of the busiest, happiest, most hectic I can remember. I am so sorry for not posting more, but I have hardly had a moment to catch my breath. However I don't want to keep you hanging any longer - so this is a back to basics - no funny commentary - no photo and video - kind of post. Hopefully all of the bells and whistles will come back in February!

We spent a WONDERFUL Christmas in Utah with the fam. At the last minute Anders was able to come out too. It was so fun seeing the grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins!
We have had a house full of guests non-stop in 2010. We had friends in town for New Years, my parents in town last weekend, friends in town starting tomorrow and both sets of parents in town the weekend after that. Thank goodness for the guest room. It will be getting a break in February I think!
The house is undergoing some major changes. We inherited some beautiful furniture and are getting the fence installed next week. Those are the last major projects - but we have a pile of mini-projects that is growing longer each day.
I turned 30! It was such a fun fantastic weekend split between Williamsburg and DC. Family friends threw us an engagement party that was so much fun and very, very sweet. My parents came to town, we looked at wedding venues, set up the house, ate amazing meals and I just enjoyed being another year older. 30 has been pretty great so far. This weekend I have tons of friends coming in town to celebrate. It is going to be big time fun!
The wedding - boy oh boy this thing is time consuming. It is amazing how many options are out there. Still nothing decided yet, but we are taking baby steps in towards a date and venue. My father is an AWEsome wedding planner. The budget, spreadsheets, reports and estimates just keep coming. I have no idea how you would plan something like this without some serious help.
Anders has been working like crazy. He has spent more time on business trips then in the new house. When he is home 12am-1am is generally when he finally calls it quits. Its hard to pass up on such amazing experience, but it is really hard work. On top of all of this he is still just being fantastic - bidding fence contractors, helping with the wedding, taking care of Hux and just generally being the best fiancee ever. I really don't know how I got so lucky.

Things have felt very busy and stressful lately - but there is no denying that life is pretty wonderful for me right now. In moments recently I have felt very caught up in myself and all that is going on around me. I was sent this quote today and it really struck me.

"I expect to pass through the world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."

Stephen Grellet, French/American religious leader (1779-1855)

It is such a good reminder to really appreciate this moment. To do all that you can to make it better for another person and to not wait for tomorrow. To keep your own life in perspective. Keeping Haiti on my mind, as well as smaller challenges I know others around me are facing.

25 Things

2010-01-05T19:06:00.002-05:00

I am working on a list of 100 things of 2009 (something I do around each new year) but it's not done. So this is a shorter version of facts about me!

In no particular order:

1) I have a horrible memory. I can never remember conversations, rarely can remember events, and hardly remember the events of the day. I'm awful with names, but decent with faces. People are constantly reminding me of things I should probably know. This makes being a therapist incredibly challenging. It also makes me curious how easily writing these 25 things will be for me.

2) Despite my early onset retention issues mentioned in #1, I'm really good at remembering song lyrics. Music of all sorts sticks in my head, especially musicals. The first musical I could recite word-for-word was Phantom of the Opera and the first time I went to see the show I identified the places where they had changed the lyrics from the original soundtrack. I love to sing, but I was not musically blessed, so I have to just mouth the words if people are around who value their hearing.

3) I'm a Taurus born in the year of the Dog (April 24th, 1982). This means I'm stubborn and loyal. I think "loyal" is just a positive reframe of "stubborn" because both mean you don't change easily. Once I form an opinion, it takes a lot for me to change my mind. I used to be even more inflexible and critical...which scares me.

4) My first love is animals. I watch Discovery Channel and Animal Planet with a vengeance. My early career choices included farmer (for fauna, not agriculture), a zoo keeper, a marine biologist, ethologist (a fancy word for behaviorist), which eventually led me to psychology. In my lifetime I've had six dogs, nine cats, three birds, countless fish, anoles, and hermit crabs. I want a dog. Desperately.

5) As a child I could tell you anything you wanted to know about dinosaurs -- imagine the little boy from Jurassic Park. I have lost everything I once knew about them (see #1). I had quite a sizeable dinosaur collection.

6) My dinosaurs used to have epic battles with my sisters My Little Ponies. Eventually, they became my My Little Ponies. Eventually, I think I owned more of those ponies than my sister. I remember the last My Little Pony I ever bought...I was too old to be buying ponies. It was a FlutterPony named Rosebud. I still love the Movie (it's a musical -- see #2).

7) I was never a particularly sporty youth: I preferred video games. Despite my preference, I played soccer for eight years, I swam on a swim team for eight summers, I played basketball for four years, a lifeguard, and I became a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do in High School. As an adult I have played on an outdoor soccer league, an indoor soccer league, and an adult kickball league. I've secretly always wanted to play rugby, but I think I am a little too fragile.

8) I am a certified Master SCUBA Diver. That means I can go out on dives without an instructor. I'm not sure I ever would do this. I'm also a certified Rescue Diver. This means I can assist in an underwater emergency. I'm not sure I remember how to do this. I've been diving in beautiful places like The Great Barrier Reef in Australia, Looe Key in the Florida Keys, and St. John. My first open water dive was in a cold, dark, barely visible rock quarry in Virginia.

9) As a rule, I don't like seafood. The one exception is wild salmon. This is unusual, because I generally think of myself as pretty adventurous when it comes to food, but if it comes from the ocean, I'm not a fan. Especially mussels. Bleh.

10) I want to learn to surf, but I've watched too much Shark Week (see #4) to want to surf in California. I have a secret fear of Jaws, because Jaws was the first scary movie I ever saw. I'm not scared of all sharks, mind you, in fact, I would love to go in a shark cage in South Africa to see Great Whites in person. My fear is isolated to Jaws. And the mother of Jaws. I know it's not real, but it's still scary!

11) I love to travel, although I don't particularly like to fly. I love roadtrips. I've been to 40 of the United States, Mexico, New Zealand, Australia, England, Puerto Rico, Jamaica, the Cayman Island, Canada, France, Spain, Italy, Greece, Turkey, and Costa Rica. There are so many places I'd like to go, including: South Africa, India, China, Egypt, Fiji, Hawaii, the Galapagos, Chile, Brazil, Argentina, Peru, Alaska, Madagascar, Botswana, etc. etc.

12) Especially when traveling, but always, I sleep to a sound machine. I always sleep with the thunderstorm setting on for an hour. Some people find it very irritating (like my sister when we have to share a hotel room), but I think it is so soothing. It helps me turn off my mind. Although, I will admit, when a real thunderstorm comes, I tend to feel sleepy.

13) I recently bought a body pillow who I named Mr. Wuggums. I like to name things. I've always wanted a body pillow. I tend to cocoon myself in my sleep in blankets, until I get too hot, then I snuggle with my former cocoon. Now, I have Mr. Wuggums to cuddle with when I get too hot.

14) I am very temperature sensitive. I get hot very easily. I can't touch people or blankets for too long without getting hot. And sweaty. It's not my favorite thing about myself. Because I love cuddling and hold hands and hugs and touch and this trait counterbalances my wishes.

15) Speaking of getting too hot, my first job ever was as a historic interpreter at Colonial Williamsburg. I was a fifer in the Fife & Drum Corps. This meant twice a week I had to wear full costume and march and play music, in the heat of the humid Virginia summer. The job was problematic because I was not blessed with the gift of song (see #1 and #2) and don't have a particularly military mindset naturally (see #6 or ever meet me). I wanted to quit for ages, but the people pleaser in me stayed for two full years. It was a big day when I finally told them to eat it (really I just said I was done and good luck).

16) Although I hated Fifing and marching and being yelled at, I loved the costumes, and more importantly, I love hosting costume-required theme parties. I love hosting all kinds of parties, but theme parties are by far my favorite. I love to coordinate the food, drinks, decoration, and, of course, my costume. Some that I've hosted include: a colorful toga party, a pirate party (before everyone was doing it), a cruise ship party, a cowboys and indians (from India) party, etc.

17) Sometimes I think I should do community theater or acting of some sort. I did a number of plays and musicals in high school and loved the friendships forged, performing, rehearsals, everything. I miss some of those things.

18) I'm currently applying for my postdoctoral position while currently on my predoctoral internship. I defended my dissertation in December 09 and will graduate in June 2010!

19) I feel very fortunate. I also feel hardworking, but lots of things have seemed to work out in my life and career. I've always had a five year plan, and currently, I barely have a five week plan. Even though I don't know where things are going, I'm curious/happy/excited/scared/hopeful to find out what the next chapter looks like.

20) I love zombie movies. And video games. This really became realized in college when every Thursday my friend Jesse and I would have "Drew Night" where we would order pizza, drink SKYY, watch Survivor, and then play video games until we were silly. The video game we played the most was Resident Evil III (*stars*). Movies I own include Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead (including remakes), 28 Days Later, Slither, Shawn of the Dead, Resident Evil, Ghosts of Mars. I describe "zombie" in the loosest sense.

21) Maybe because of #20, I like to lock doors when I go into rooms, usually without thinking. I do it second nature in my office and then I always feel weird unlocking the door when someone knocks. I also used to spend time planning what I would do if zombies attacked...*NOW*. (In case you're curious, my office has big forward facing windows, which is no place to stage a defense, I would have to get to the roof, or the bathroom, or the meeting room in the back with a secret door and big furniture).

22) I tend to perseverate with things I like to the point of exhaustion. For example, I will listen to the same song over and over and over again until I don't want to hear it anymore. (The current song is Hayley Westenra's cover of Kate Bush's 'Wuthering Heights'). Since then I have watched one feature film and one BBC miniseries of Wuthering Heights. I'm currently listening. I also do this with other things...like my favorite restaurant is Flavor of India and I could go there 5 days a week and order the chicken tikka masala every time. There have been weeks where I have gone three days in a row.

23) I love car rides but I don't really like to drive. But I dislike other peoples driving typically more, so I end up driving. I once drove from Maryland to Kansas without a break, but I got a lil delirious toward the end. I have also had roadtrips from Virginia to Florida, Maryland to New York City, New Jersey to Maryland (after the big blackout of 2003 canceled my flight from NYC), Santa Barbara to San Diego, San Francisco to Santa Barbara many times, and recently from Baltimore to Pittsburgh in a snow storm!

24) Speaking of snow, I don't like snow. And anything cold. I used to tell people I was allergic to ice when ordering water and you'd be amazed how many people will believe you. As per snow, I like it when it is falling. I like when it is out of my window and I'm by a cozy fire with nowhere to go. I like it when I am skiing on it. After that, I want it to all melt away. I don't like snowy roads, I don't like when it is that cold (maybe see #13), and I hate when snow stops being fluffy and white. I recoil from the freezer section and hate to touch ice barehanded.

25) Because my graduation and my sister's wedding are both in 2010 and each of these events are likely to be very photograph heavy events, I am wanting to make this a year to get into the best shape of my life. I have been walking more of late, trying to eat healthier, and am signing up for a gym membership tonight! Wish me luck on getting less jiggly!

2009-12-22T01:04:00.005-05:00

Man - Things have been crazy. And to top it all off we had a HUGE snow storm here in DC this week. Almost 20 inches!

I am looking forward to catching up on South Africa posts, moving into the new house, being happily engaged - but for now I will levae you with Hux and the snow!

Have a very happy holiday!

Defended

2009-12-14T18:48:00.002-05:00

Wow. The effort of twenty-three or six or a few years of education came to a culmination on Friday and I am still reeling from all of it. Completion of my dissertation has felt so distant for so long that to have suddenly passed it by is a little disorienting! Mind you, it's a lovely disorientation, but I have been so focused on finishing school for so long that it is hard to believe there could be anything else out there to focus on. I'm excited to find out (again)! Like today after work ... how will I entertain myself without more dissertation to work on?!

For the actual defense I had two hours scheduled with my committee on Friday, Dec. 11th from 2pm to 4pm. It was in the new building, which I had never been in, but it was actually very nice on the interior. Our defenses aren't completely open to the public, but they are trying to require new students to attend one before they defend themselves. Luckily for me, being the afternoon of Friday before winter break, no students showed up, so no pressure to perform in front of strangers. Just professors.

I had been practicing my powerpoint for days, trying to shorten it, as my committee chair said she only wanted 20 minutes of presentation and the remaining hour and forty minutes for questions and defending. My powerpoint was 20 slides and probably closer to an hour, but I didn't know any way to eliminate slides and still have a coherent presentation, and it worked out for the best because it stimulated discussion and conversation throughout.

The committee meets once at the beginning of the two hours and again toward the end when they decide the outcome. The first time they only met for a couple of minutes, which Tania (my advisor) whispered was a good sign as she led me back to the room. I did my presentation well and despite wanting to answer questions slightly differently in retrospect, they did not ask me anything that totally stumped me, which was nice. When I went into the defense it had started raining and about midway through the sun burst out and was shining in the window at me and that's when I realized things were going very well.

I think we only met for about an hour...maybe an hour and twenty before they ran out of questions. That was a good feeling too -- like I had thought about all of their questions and answered them during the presentation. I had a whole good-luck goodie bag from my mom with Asian metal fish, a rubbing stone, lavender, etc. and some of my own good luck additions -- a bobble head turtle I brought to UC Santa Barbara for my interview. I also wore a silver pin with a heart on it that my mom gave me and that was the first gift my dad bought her.

At the end, they asked me to leave and after less than 10 minutes they invited me back in and congratulated me! They each told me nice things (that I wish I had done a better job of recording) including telling me that my study was groundbreaking, masterful, and elegantly conducted. One member said she really saw the work I had put into the paper since the proposal. Another member said that with all the proposals, defenses and qualifying exams he was working on this quarter that he was looking forward to reading mine most! It was particularly meaningful because he is a counseling process and outcome researcher and very reluctant to give compliments. And then my advisor stayed and reiterated how excited she was about my project, how it is just what the field needs, and how I have to publish it quickly! She asked what I was going to do first and I said I needed to update my facebook status! We reminisced of all the changes in the last six years and hugged each other a few times in the excitement.

After that the celebration continued at my friends ranch in Cuyama. All in all, a pretty amazing week and a pretty important day in the scheme of things for Drew! Thanks for all the support and love and contact -- it's been amazing!

This guy...

2009-12-11T10:57:00.024-05:00

After almost 23 years of consecutive education (seriously - the man hasn't taken a break since pre-school) this is perhaps the largest of Drews academic milestones. Today Drew defends his dissertation. Its kind of unbelievable how much he has accomplished. This is the last major step to him becoming a doctor. Most of you know what an an amazing person he is - smart, successful, handsome, hilarious and kind. I know he is going to blow them out of the water, however please send your good vibes out into the universe today for ol' Drew Bear (specifically at 2pm PST). So here is a photo montage of Drew and a little song we like to sing to help you with those positive thoughts!

You are the best

You can do anything

You can be anything you want to be...

You are a smile

You are a rainbow

You can do everything so perfectly

Sometimes we laugh (ahhhhhh!)

Sometimes we cry (ohhhhhh!)

Sometimes we hurt inside and don't understand why!

You're only human

You make mistakes

Why does it feel like only other people get the brea-aks!

Da da da da da dahhhh!

You're the best!

Love you DrewBear! GOOD LUCK!

The Countdown Begins

2009-12-08T20:03:00.002-05:00

First, let me say how thrilled I am about the previous post! I have read and re-read it many times over the last week and a half. I have also referred a number of people to the blog, rather than retelling the story, since it is so comprehensive! The only thing I would add is that I was holding my hand under the table because Anders had told me the setup he was planning on and every time he began the initial approach with Grandma Barb and I would start to get nervous with anticipation, someone would hijack the conversation (usually Grandma Barb or Lyndsey! Probably because neither was in on it) and take it miles away from the intended landing site! And when this happened for the third or fourth time, I was beginning to wonder if the whole thing was going to be a bust. And I just wanted to help out, but I couldn't think of anything short of "Can it everyone, he has an important question!" So, instead and squeezed my own hand under the table and tried to appear focused. In short, I am so excited for the WTF merging and to have a brother. Especially a wonderful guy like Anders. I always wanted a brother growing up, but I was pretty firmly planted as the baby of the family and I think I would have been a miserable middle child, so I think this has all worked out for the best.

In other news I am about 72 hours away from my dissertation defense. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The defense in my program is a two-hour block with my committee where I present for about 20 minutes and then get an onslaught of questions for the remainder of the time. Our defenses aren't typically open to the public and I am happy with this option, although there may be a few students in the room in addition to my committee. The unfortunate piece is that there is very little advice people can give because it is *my* study and *my* writing and who knows on which pieces my committee will focus. The document is 165 pages and every time I read it, I find edits that I want to make, so I imagine they feel the same way.

I think what has been most helpful is hearing that my committee at this point is rooting for me, rather than against me (like in the qualifying exams or even the proposal meeting). At this point it is in everyone's best interest for me to finish and their responses are probably with that intent. I expect revisions and that is normal, but now they want the manuscript to be excellent and turned into an article. It's just hard to believe that the last six years (or 20) of academic preparation have been culminating in this moment. Once I leave (assuming I don't spontaneously combust), there won't really be any major steps between me and graduation as a doctor. How could this be?

After the GLEE finale (everyone should be watching GLEE, ps) I plan on driving down Thursday morning and arriving in Santa Barbara just in time for Flavor of India Lunch Buffet. My favorite restaurant and endlessness of it. Thursday night a bunch of my friends left in SB are going to Jill's Place (a lesbian owned steak house, yum) to pre-celebrate. Friday I will probably go to Flavor of India again for lunch, practice my defense and then go in from 2pm-4pm! Afterward, I think I'll get a celebratory (conciliatory?) drink before heading to my friends ranch in Cuyama for a weekend of relaxation with horses and dogs out in nature.

Wish me luck!!

The Engagement Story

2009-12-02T21:41:00.042-05:00

So I thought life could not have been busier or more wonderful before...

And then Saturday came and changed everything. The short version: The most amazing man I have ever known got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him (I absolutely said YES)!

However - I know everyone really wants to hear the loooooooong version, so here it is! As you might remember Anders came to Kansas to spend Thanksgiving with my family. We had a wonderful time hanging out in Lawrence.

Thanksgiving was lovely. We watched movies, played board games, cooked, ate and drank wine. Each year my family writes down all of the things they are thankful for. Each thankful goes on a separate sheet of paper and into a basket. We then each draw out a handful and read them anonymously. They always range from the sweet and thoughtful (my amazing mother, my persevering father, my handsome, smart, successful brother) to the funny (thank goodness that rattlesnakes and razor blades are not fatal for dogs). This year we even included Anders parents - Nancy and Thor. They dictated their thankfuls to Anders and then we web-cammed them in while we read them out loud. It was so fun to virtually introduce our families and to get to share all that we are thankful for this holiday season.

My grandmother hosted a brunch for the cousins on Friday and it was so fun to catch up and see how they are doing.
But the best was yet to come...

On Saturday we had my Grandpa Art and Grandma Barb over for lunch. We had a lovely lunch of turkey soup and curried sweet potato soup. Yummm. After the dishes were cleared we were chatting around the kitchen table with my parents, brother and grandparents. Anders noted that it would probably be the last time we would see the grandparents this trip. He asked my grandmother if she thought he could stick around and come back again in the future. My grandmother said yes and something sweet about what a great guy they thought Anders was.

Anders responded with "Well I guess there is only one person left to ask..."

In the very next moment Anders was next to me and had dropped to one knee. He told me that words couldn't express the way that he loved me, but he hoped to spend the rest of our lives showing me. He brought out a perfect ring and asked me to marry him!
I immediately and very enthusiastically said YES! I found out later he had asked my parents and Drews blessing earlier in the trip. Knowing what an amazing man he is they all agreed that nothing would make them happier then seeing us together forever.
They all knew that the proposal would happen over lunch with my grandparents. Drew said he was so excited and nervous that he ended up holding his own hand under the table during the entire meal!

I was taken totally by surprise. It was so wonderful and meaningful that everyone was there to witness the proposal. It really felt like we were merging our two lives and families which is really special and important to both of us. They were able to share in this momentous occasion, celebrate with us, and fill me in on the things I forgot due to my very happy "I cant believe we are really engaged" daze!

Its true! We really are!

We immediately called Anders parents, put them on speaker phone and shared the happy news. The phone call was filled with lots of laughter, excitement and tears. We toasted our new family and enjoyed the magnitude of committing your whole life and love to another person.

We took a few quite moments alone to just enjoy it all and enjoy the beautiful 70 degree day!

And then called all of the grandmas!

We went for a walk around KU with the family and just spent the whole day celebrating!

November 28, 2009 was easily the happiest most important day of my life to date. It is hard to put into words how incredibly lucky and blessed I feel. Those of you who know Anders know instantly what a loving, generous, smart and driven man he is. I think I always hoped I would meet someone like him - but he is honestly so much more then I even could have imagined. He inspires me daily and is going to be an amazing partner, husband, father, and friend. I am truly overwhelmed with all that I have to be thankful for this year.

And did I mention how adorable and handsome he is?

Thank you all for the congratulations, well wishes and love we have received as the good news has spread. It means more then you will ever know.

So I will leave you hopefully with a few warm fuzzies after reading our sweet story and a picture of the peach love pie I baked for Anders the night we got engaged. Drew helped me out with the beautiful picture of a ring on the pie!
And - because I know everyone loves seeing the real ring I will leave you with a final picture of it. This picture doesn't nearly do it justice - it is just so breathtaking and spectacular in person. Did I mention what good taste he has?

We love you all!

Excited!

2009-11-24T17:15:00.006-05:00

I cannot believe a month ago I was landing in Capetown. It feels like it was yesterday! I am going to take a very brief time out from South African blogging. I promise posts are coming and I will do my best to be productive over Thanksgiving. We dont need this epic journey to drag on and on.

Instead this will be a quick and very exciting update. Anders successfully closed on the house! After months and months of waiting we are finally here! I think we are both so excited to finally get to start our life together and to move into this beautiful new home. Unfortunately Anders work schedule has been a bit hectic during the past few weeks. You know - 7 days a week 8am to midnight or later - typical lawyer madness!

With Anders swamped at work I have taken the charge on the paint, prep and move to do list. I started with the grimy and dark laundry room first. It was a gross job - lots of navigating bug parts while painting many nooks and crannies. However it looks beautiful now! I'm excited to do the final touch ups and reveal it to the world! We also picked a lot rich paint colors for the rest of the house. That job is much bigger so I have been getting estimates from contractors and I hired a painter today. I am so lucky to have picked up construction lingo from my days working at Scott Thomas Construction and to have a father who can create a complete bid scope at the drop of the hat. I had plenty of good coaching on how to whip these contractors into shape. It will all get painted next week, so look forward to a future post with beautiful (hopefully) before and after pictures.

Beyond that I am so excited for Thanksgiving. It is my favorite holiday by far - I love the opportunity to reflect on those things that I am thankful for and to eat really amazing food. What could be better?!? It will be particularly special this year because Anders is coming to Kansas to spend the holiday with the WTs. I imagine it is hard to spend your first big holiday away from your own family and I am so thankful that he is really excited about flying halfway across the country to be with mine. Have I mentioned how amazing he is?

Anyway - in my lead up to Thanksgiving excitement all I can think about is eating. I thought I would share a favorite website of mine. Its a visual food buffet and filled with lots of seasonal recipes and beautiful photography!

http://www.tastespotting.com/

This week I had my staff share their favorite dish from Thanksgiving dinner. It was so interesting to hear the wide variety and unusual items that different families include - from a layered squash, cheddar, tomato dish to classic Greek food to a deviled egg/cream of mushroom casserole (yikes)! Personally I really like the classics. My moms stuffing, really great mashed potatoes, and as many varieties of cranberry sauce as possible. For desert I enjoy ALL types of pie - but my Grandma Barbs chocolate pie is certainly a Thanksgiving classic. And it would not be a complete meal without Pillsbury crescent rolls carefully constructed by DrewBear.

So world - what dish are you looking forward to?

A Million Little Pieces

2009-11-19T13:03:00.002-05:00

First, I love the photos from South Afrika. Second, I apologize for being delayed in my posting.

Despite being completely swamped with finishing the final edits and revisions to my dissertation (currently 175 pages) before I send it out next week, and preparing my cover letters and applications for jobs and post docs for next year, and the fact that the week before Thanksgiving is traditionally the busiest week of the quarter, AND the fact that I have to help review and select from the 175 intern applications for next year before December 4th, I managed to finish the first book I've read for pleasure in quite some time. It was the controversial not-so-autobiographical novel A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. The Smoking Gun.com says it is "filled with fabrications, falsehoods, other fakery." Still, it was an excellent read.

And what's more important is the fact that I am glad to be reading for pleasure again. I think it may go on hiatus for the next few weeks as I prepare for my defense, but since starting at Stanford two hours of my day are spent on a train. In the beginning I simply listened to my iPod ("Aisha") and observed the other patrons of the CalTrain system. It is fascinating to watch people on trains. Who sits where. Who talks to whom. Who wears what. How the conductors treat people who don't purchase tickets (once my friends ticket printed incorrectly and the conductor wanted her to sing to stay on board!). Every day interactions become interesting studies on human behavior. And looking out the window at the strange shops (e.g., how does Mary's Flag World stay in business??) and people (e.g., the woman wearing a raccoon skin cap who is out every morning at 7:30am preaching her conspiracy theories) we (thankfully?) pass.

Eventually, my sociological study faded into feeling like I should be more productive on the train. I wanted to do school work and printed out some documents to review but that is a hard way to stop and start my day. So, I picked up A Million Little Pieces and became hooked. Even knowing it was not 100% based in fact it is a fascinating novel and a terrifying look at addiction.

As a therapist I have worked with many people addicted to alcohol, drugs, the internet, porn, sex, exercise, eating, etc. and the human capacity for addiction seems almost limitless. Some seems based in our evolution (e.g., the idea of binging on food made sense when we might not have regular meals between hunts) and some seems based on predispositions and neurotransmitters. Working with addicts is typically incredibly stressful and my first alcoholic client taught me so much about not being too invested in client success as a measure of my work. I would work so hard in session and we would agree on how little she would drink and I would leave feeling great and trusting her to hold up her end of the agreement and she would come back the next week having too much to drink and being beaten down and worried that I would judge her for it. And maybe some small part of me did judge her (although I never showed it) but the larger piece judged myself for not finding the magic cure for her.

The truth is, there is no magic cure, especially not for addiction. She needed to struggle and suffer and prepare herself to make the changes she so desperately wanted to make. The idea of rock bottom made sense in this case, although rock bottom is sometimes much darker than we would hope or expect. And that didn't reflect on the good work we each were doing in and out of session. Still, the heartache of watching people in pain strikes a particular cord when willpower is not enough. And although James Frey wrote an excellent novel, I worry about some of the messages it sends about willpower being enough to stop addiction, especially when addiction is part of a larger system or family dynamic or the only coping method available.

All that to say...I can't wait to find the next book for my commute! Any suggestions?

Also, one week until Thanksgiving and I am ready to get out of California, to see my family, and to pass out from a good turkey dose of tryptophan!

South Africa: Capetown

2009-11-17T20:28:00.038-05:00

Howzit! (That is South African for "How are you doing?")

Part two of the South Africa trip! Capetown was a very bizarre and beautiful way to start the trip. I am not quite sure what I expected, but I know it wasn't Capetown. In many ways it feels very much like California - almost an African twist on the SF bay and Napa. I think I was hoping for a bit more of a jolt into South African culture, but Capetown felt very familiar to places I have traveled to before. After that initial surprise I realized I could spend a LOT of time here. It is a truly lovely city with plenty to do and see. I mean really - look at this place:

View of Table Mountain from the Capetown Waterfront

Even the wildlife is happy in Capetown.

Seal at the Waterfront

We had planned to go to Robben Island, the island prison where Nelson Mandela was held from 1964 to 1982. You have to book tickets far in advance so we were lucky that Lawson was able to get them for us. However that morning was incredibly windy so the boat ride and tour were canceled. We were able to spend some time in the Robben Island Museum which was fascinating. It provided a good history of the Dutch colonization of South Africa, Afrikaans history, the apartheid movement, and actions that eventually led to the overturning of apartheid.

The wind also prevented us from going on the cable car ride to the top of Table Mountain the highest peak overlooking Capetown. So what do you do when your carefully planned day gets hijacked by the wind. Clearly you go on a double decker bus tour!

Lawson and Lyndsey on the bus

Now we have this exact bus tour company in DC. I have spent many days laughing out loud at the tourist that would choose to go on one of the City Sightseeing Tour Bus. Perhaps it was karma working in mysterious way, but let me just tell you I am a convert! I loved every minute of it. Nothing is cooler then sitting in the top decker, its the ultimate one-up to cool kids on the back of the bus. We had a helpful guide and listened on headphones to very interesting tour. We saw tons of the city and learned a lot about other placesto visit while in Capetown. All I can say is get on that bus! It was awesome!

Capetown Beaches

On the opposite side of Table Mountain are these incredible beaches. Gorgeous houses, white sand, and crystal blue water. It was breathtaking!

One of the early lessons I learned about South Africa is that you can go from some of the most beautiful things you have ever seen to some of the worst in almost the blink of an eye...
District 6

This area is in the middle of Capetown and is called District 6. This area was declared "whites only" in the late 60's as part of apartheid. The government then spent the next few years forcibly relocating black families to townships and bulldozing their homes. Almost 60,000 people were forced to relocate - and the area had never been redeveloped, except for a very small grouping of houses. You can simply find huge fields of grass like this in the middle of the city where homes used to stand.

Lions Head

One of the other huge peaks surrounding Capetown is Lions Head. Lawson, Andrew and Nick hiked it the day before I arrived. The view from the top is supposed to be amazing!

Capetown from the base of Table Mountain

Sort of like this view over looking Capetown - but much, much higher! After our bus tour was over we headed outside of Capetown and into Stellenbosch (wine country)! As we were driving out to the vineyards you could see informal settlements like this one lining the interstate.

Informal Settlements

In Stellenbosch we stopped for lunch at Moyo. It was a huge restaurants with tables in tree house platforms. There were musicians, face painters, and a huge buffet of South African cuisine. We had a great time, but were fairly confident we just ate lunch at the Cracker Barrel of South Africa. Anytime your meal starts with a walk through the huge gift shop you have reason to be suspicious. However we had a fun and enjoyed the food. Below is the platter of South African breads (I guess the Cracker Barrel equivalent of biscuits and apple butter)

Lunch at Moyo

We then headed to Waterford for a wine tasting.

Its amazing how wine country looks the same all over the world. Is this South Africa or California?

Waterford Estate

They had a beautiful seated tasting room and are know for the chocolate/wine pairing. We tried chai, salted, and rose chocolate that they had developed to enhance the flavors of the wines.

Lawson and Andrew wine tasting

I was halfway through the chai dark chocolate and the Kevin Arnold Shiraz before I remembered to take a picture.

We then headed back to Capetown for an amazing dinner at Salt, the restaurant in the Ambassador Hotel.

Its hard to appreciate how fantastic the view was based on these pictures. Just trust me, it was FANTASTIC!

Looking at these pictures just makes me want to go back to Capetown. My short time there was just a tease. I could happily go back for another week.

View from Salt

If you happen to be part of the elite few that know Lawson and have the chance to go visit him please do. However, if you know Lawson then you should also know the months of planning he does for your visit doesn't come without a price. He will happily send you a 15 page itinerary with every hour planned - but you had better be ready to work for it. Traveling across South Africa with Lawson's new lampshades was just the beginning...In the next chapter we will start to explore the joys of Johannesburg and the most amazing Halloween party ever!

Andrew looks cool - even carrying lampshades through the airport.

Hope you are all having a lovely week. Anders is closing on the house this Thursday and we are so excited! Cross your fingers that everything goes smoothly for us! Also - forgive the lack of posts from Drew. He is finishing up this little project called a dissertation. Countdown to Dec. 11th!

South Africa: Cage Diving

2009-11-10T23:29:00.083-05:00

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed since returning from South Africa. Life has been moving in such huge ways since returning to the states. It has made the whole trip seem so surreal and so difficult to explain. It was an adventure, luxurious, heartbreaking, unexpected, wild, and a little overwhelming. All I can say is that if you are lucky enough to know Lawson and Nick you should stop reading immediately and book your flight. They showed us South Africa in a way that very few people will get to experience. They were incredible hosts - literally every minute was planned for us! It was a truly amazing experience. That being said I am going to have to break up the trip into a few blogs posts since there is a lot to share. Here we go...

This was the sunrise on my flight over. I flew from DC to Atlanta - Atlanta to Johannesburg - Johannesburg to Capetown. I really distinctly remember taking this picture and feeling like I was on such an adventure. Traveling internationally on my own for the first time. It was over 26 hours of travel headed to a country half way around the world. There something particulalry exciting about leaving at night knowing that the airplane was barreling toward the sunrise. After 7 hours of sleeping on the plane I woke up to this view.

After a slight mishap with my plane ticket in Johannesburg (Someone bought a ticket to Capetown for the 23rd but I landed the 24th. Time changes are really hard to understand.) I made it to Capetown around 11pm local time and headed for bed.

It seemed only appropriate to start our my time in South Africa with a bang so why not get up at the crack of dawn my first day and go cage diving with great white sharks!

South Africa is know for "The Big Five" the lion, leopard, buffalo, elephant, and rhino. This summer that term was upgraded to "The Big Seven" to include whales (a few kinds) and the great white shark.

Sharks leap overhead while Andrew mentally prepares to face the great white shark! With a banana!

It is just starting to be spring in South Africa. While it is beautiful weather out, the water is cold and it is getting windy. We wet-suited up, including covers for our head and booties. As you can see Andrew is officially pumped.

There were a few holes in Lawson's wetsuit so he isn't quite as excited...yet! Note the large hole near the neck. It only sort of looks like a shark bite. Did I mention the extensive liability waiver we signed?

Once we have our wetsuits on they packed five of us into the cage. The first challenge is not letting your hands or feet float between the bars of the cage. I would be bobbing along enjoying being the water. Then it would occur to me "My foot is hanging outside of the cage. Oopsy!" Just a tasty treat dangling out in the open for a passing shark to nibble on.

(Lyndsey -far left, Lawson -right, surrounded by a CAGE)

There were sharks all around but we could only see them if they came within 4-5 meters. We didn't have any snorkel gear or any coaching on how to keep from hyperventilating when face to face with a shark. Just eye masks. The skipper would yell "Get Down!" and we would all dive under and hold our breath. Andrew got this great picture of me and Lawson as the shark came by. We saw this one close up and with its mouth WIDE open!

It might look like I am being held up in a robbery. Actually I am just really excited about cage diving with great white sharks!

This may be my favorite picture of Andrew from the whole trip. Its a perfect mix of "I really am an old man trapped in a young mans body/why the heck am I getting into this cage with sharks/golly this water is chilly/wait -someone is taking a picture of me?/whaawhoo I am really excited!"

It wasn't the best day for diving. The weather became quite windy and choppy. You might note that I am missing pictures of Nick. Being out at sea with a tiny bit of food poisoning is a bad combo - so I wont go there.

Also the sharks became shy. While they continued circling the boat it became harder to get them to come close to the cage. However out in this very blue water we saw something almost cooler then the sharks!

AHHHH! That is right! Whales leaping up from the ocean! Surrounded by beautiful rainbows!!!

Ok. So perhaps the whales were not actually surrounded by beautiful rainbows. And maybe I didn't actually take this photograph (thank you very much animal planet). However we did see whales leaping into the air around 40-50 yards from our boat. It was absolutely breathtaking. It was also so surprising that I forgot to take pictures both times we saw it. Sometimes you just have to enjoy the moment.

I intended for this post to be all of Capetown, but it is getting long and this is only the first 12 hours I was in South Africa. I promise that will work on my editing skills between now and the next post.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend! I am looking forward to having nothing planned but watching college football!

From the East Coast!
Lyndsey

PS: Dear JMU Alumni Office,
I will be submitting the picture above of three incredibly brave alumni showing their JMU pride after escaping certain death in a shark cage. Please put it in the monthly Alumni Magazine. Pretty pretty please. We toted the flag all over South Africa to prove our undying love for the James Madison University. GO DUKES!

South Africa - The preview

2009-11-06T16:18:00.006-05:00

Well it has been a busy week since returning. Work has been moving along at a clip. Also after many months of waiting things are finally moving forward with buying the house. If all things go right Anders will be closing exactly one week from today! After it is finalized we are hoping to spring into action and move into the house before heading to Kansas for Thanksgiving! Who knows if it will really happen that way - we are trying to strike a perfect balance of not stressing ourselves out, while moving as fast as week can. It all still seems a little surreal after almost 5 months of waiting, but that is also mixed with a huge amount of excitement. Cross your fingers that everything goes well.

Unfortunately I have not had a chance to go through my pictures yet or write the very long and detailed blog post I am planning. I would do it this weekend except Anders, Huxley and I are headed down to Chapel Hill this evening. We will be visiting Anders parents and go to the UNC/Duke football game with friends. I am really looking forward to it.

So basically South Africa will have to wait until next week. To keep you hanging on I will leave you with a pretty cool tidbit. This is on the game drive and is the only video I shot while there. You will see two baby lion cubs and an adolescent male lion. You will also hear some really inspirational narration from yours truly as well as a little play by play from our South African guide Doug.

Unfortunately my camera died before the mama lion came into view. Doug was right though - only moments later she came over and let the bigger male know who was boss.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Defending

2009-11-05T17:28:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I set my dissertation defense date. Friday, December 11th at 2pm I will defend my 166 page book and the associated study in front of three faculty members and community members. I can hardly believe it could happen this quickly, but after my last phone conference with my advisor, she stated that there were no new additions she would recommend beyond a editing one last time overall. I am still stunned that the date is set. For the last six years I have been working on a degree and that is the last hurdle that needs to be complete before I am ready to finish. And to be Dr. Drew.

Suddenly, I feel like I have a lot of work to do to get myself ready! I sent off the document last night to a professional editor who will sweep it for errors. Then I need to do one last read-through, bind three copies and send it to UC Santa Barbara for my committee to have no later than Friday, Nov. 27th. Next, I have to develop a brief presentation about the study and the results for the day of the presentation. Finally, I have to defend and answer any question they can fire at me!

Five years to prepare and yet somehow it's all happening so fast!

I am back!

2009-11-02T10:09:00.006-05:00

I am back from an amazing week in South Africa! It will take more then just one blog post to share all of the stories and pictures. I promise they will be coming soon - once I dig through all of my laundry and email!

Until then I hope you have a happy Monday and enjoy this cute picture of Huxley. He only inhaled one rubber toy while I was gone - subsequently throwing up most of the pieces. I would call that a smashing success. I am lucky to have an amazing team of dog sitters to clean up after him when I am gone!

Drewlyn

2009-10-29T17:35:00.005-04:00

With Lyndsey out of the country in South Africa I feel a lot of pressure to keep the blog going! It's only the second week and I don't want to slack on our goal of one post per week. Work is amping up here and that is the typical pattern of university counseling center work: a few weeks of quiet that pick up as midterms arrive, chaos between midterms and finals, and then being able to hear a pin drop during finals week. At Stanford they have a culture-based syndrome called "The Stanford Duck Syndrome" where students like to present as collected, calm, and capable on the surface, but their little duck legs are working double time under the water to keep the duck afloat. It's been interesting to watch.

I also wanted to give some background on the origin of the name "Drewlyn." It may seem obvious to a modern reader, but it actually was a bit of a mistake. First, you should know, growing up, until the very end of high school, I went by "Andrew" rather than "Drew." In high school, a few friends started calling me Drew and I felt like it fit, so in college I began introducing myself as Drew and asked my family and friends to try to transition. I still answer to Andrew, but it takes me a second to remember to answer to that name. (As a sidenote, Lyndsey used to call me "And," which I always liked, but it was also confusing because of how frequently the word "and" is used in everyday conversation).

When we were small and our mom had to address the children as a unit she would often call us 'Lyndrew.' This name makes sense because both names share the n-d combination and it follows our birth order. I can't recall the times it was commonly used, but I feel like written communication was often shortened to Lyndrew. How endearing, you might think, as you envision these Children-of-the-Corn blond siblings answering to a single name.

Well, along comes the advent of the internet with dial-up modems and when everyone had America Online to connect to the world wide web. And one day Scott tells us we are getting the internet and he will set it up for us. And, oh the thrill of the internet! Who knew the untold joy that might come from being able to connect with information and people from around the world. (Who knew how dependent on the internet we would become -- I've already checked my several key email accounts several times since starting to write this blog...). So, I remember how proud Scott was to have set up the account and have us on the internet and we run to the computer to see our very first screen name:

DREWLYN.

"Drewlyn...?? Dreeewling?! Droolin'?!! That's not our nickname! Our screenname means we have drooling problems!" No appreciation for the hard work involved, just shock that we would have to email everyone from a capitalized name that reminds everyone of salivation! Oh, the dismay I'm sure we displayed. (Sorry, Scott, we were brats.)

But somehow, we forged ahead and we able to develop our own screennames, but DREWLYN remained the "master account" and somehow stuck with us. And it was the only name that seemed to fit when we were looking to name the sibling + dog blog.

San Francisco Adventures

2009-10-21T12:23:00.006-04:00

I moved to San Francisco almost two months ago and I am amazed at how much I am loving life. When I moved to Santa Barbara from DC five years ago, I always assumed I would return to the East Coast after grad school -- so much so that I referred to my time in California as my "Study Abroad." And even if coming to SF wasn't part of my plan and DC has always felt like home, I am really pleased with my work, life, social, well-being balance in the city by the bay. My apartment is beautiful and on top of Potrero Hill with beautiful weather and views of the city and the Bay Bridge; my commute via train to Stanford takes about an hour door-to-door and I get to watch the sunrise every morning from it; and I feel good about the friends, old and new, that have been in my life since moving.

I'm glad Lyndsey spearheaded this idea to have a brother-sister-bicoastal-blog together and keep in touch with friends and family this way. It will be a fun way to connect our family that spans the country! Here are some pictures of my life in SF:

Here is the 22nd Street Station where I catch my morning train. It's about 2.5 blocks from my apartment and is under the freeway! I try not to think about what would happen in an earthquake...

This is the tower on Stanford's campus. This is the view from the front of my building, Vaden Student Health Center, where Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) is located.

One view from my backyard! Potrero Hill is the best neighborhood in the city -- it's clean and quiet and cute. It has access to everything you want, but is like a suburb in the city.

This is me and my favorite nephew, Huxley, from my last trip to DC.

The idea.

2009-10-18T23:02:00.002-04:00

Life is sweet. More and more I realize how lucky and privileged I am. Particularly as I barrel towards turning thirty I have been feeling an urge to record and share bits of my life with others. For me my thirties seem incredibly exciting. I know it will be a time in my life where everything will change in such significant and wonderful ways.

Despite this strong desire to document these changes - I do know myself well and know I might not quite have the commitment to regularly post. A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a blog hosted by two siblings living on opposite coast and I thought it might be the ideal solution. Blogging with Drew would be the perfect way to share each of our adventures with friends, family, and those who love us. I cant promise updates everyday, or even every week - but my hope is to create a space for us both to share the awesome things in our lives and a few of the twists and turns around the way.

I will probably take a look back on the past year as well. So many amazing things have happened that should be shared. I'm looking forward to posting about Huxley and his brushes with death, Obama being elected, world travels, amazing DC experiences and falling madly in love.

So keep us accountable and check in when you can!

Enjoy,
Lyndsey